At Tahoe City Library on a Wednesday at 4:30 P.M. with all the other 70 year olds.

Sexy.

I got 5th place at Nationals. It wasn't awesome, but it surely wasn't bad. Great race, and I was just a hair off hitting the finals and killing it. Here's what a friend wrote to me anyway:

"5th, that's awesome. Would it have been funny if i started it out with,'5th, 5th just means you lost 4 times worst that the person who came in second'?
No but seriously that is fantastic. I wish i was there in my thong to spray champagne all over the place. Ehhh why do i need to do it there.. maybe i'll go out after work and do it to a stranger coming out of there office. I'll act like they just won something and there will be confetti and me in a thong spraying champagne."

Thanks Spoony. It's nice having freaks of my own. Some people call them friends.

While my computer is getting over its virus and I'm waiting for pictures and video to come in of the races, I will get back to this with a really cool final multi-media showing next week.

It was a good year.

Gliding on the Snow

No one, except Olympic skiers, their wax techs, guys in the back rooms at SOME board shops, the Start Haus in Truckee, and Rob from the snowboard team have a grasp on the complication of race waxing. I'd begin to explain but I'm still working on getting a clue. For those of you that don't know, basically there's hotboxing and base grinds, high fluoro wax, graphite, overlays, rub on wax, hot wax, new snow wax, old snow wax, temperature of the snow (we have a thermometer we stick in the snow), temperature of the air, humidity, iron temperature for hot wax, spray on wax, travel wax, wax that looks like cocaine or powdered sugar you dash on the base and rub in with cork just before jumping in the start gates, and speaking of, I've been told there's wax more expensive per gram than cocaine; there's horse hair brushes, soft brushes, brass brushes, umm other brushes . . .

Don't touch the base of your snowboard with your hands or the oils from your skin may get into the base. Don't put a hot iron on a cold snowboard or you could delaminate the thing. Take off your bindings or the screws could expand in the board when you put a hot iron on it. It's best to wait all night then scrape in the morning for it all to really absorb. If you really want to glide it's recommended to brush a lot, 45 minutes or so.

I had no idea until this year. We've gotten very detailed. I'd say they're testy planks of wood and fiber glass.

It'd be dope to rub soap on the bottom and see how that sends the dang thing down the hill, although I think it's illegal, like a spitball.

Tomorrow is Nationals Finals in Open Class in Boardercross, some of the best kids in the nation will bang into each other down the course. Delightful.

USASA NATIONALS

Sorry for the delay in keeping this up to date. It's still difficult not having internet in Tahoma, because of our tree cover, and living off the grid. I figured out I'm more isolated with my inability to get cell reception and the internet, than my brother, who was in Afghanistan, emailing me all the time. He even had a cell phone sometimes, and said he got lattes at the Bagram Base's coffee shop, Cool Beans, or something like that. I have to trek 11 miles from my house to get a latte. Jeez.


I'm back here in Colorado for USASA Nationals, the amateur snowboarding association's finals, http://www.usasa.org/. We had to race in our local series all year to qualify. There are about 3,000 athletes, competing in all snowboard disciplines for 6 days. Slalom, Giant Slalom, Pipe, Slopestyle, and Boadercross, of course. We've taken over the hill, kids from 8 years old to 60. I'm in Open Class, made up of ex pros, up-and-coming pros, and just a mix of really great athletes. The venues are set up all over the mountain and we rotate to other venues each day, like the Olympics, or the Decathlon.

Monday and Tuesday I raced Slalom and Giant Slalom, shown above. I placed 8th, out of 18 or something, but it's not one I really care too much about. The girls who beat me wore speed suits and hard boots, I raced in soft boots and regular bindings. There might have been wind drag from my baggy pants, I don't know. It matters to me how my form is, and my coach said I looked the best I ever have charging around the gates.

Now some rest, then onto Boardercross Friday! Last competition of the year!

Here's me in Oregon, which looks like I'm out of control going over the spine, but when I pump I throw my arms up in the air, then down, in case you're not familiar with Boardercross at all.

Just Back from the Vet Hospital

I've had a suspicion my dog and I are connected to each other beyond love and friendship - we feel each others' pain. At least that's what it seems like lately. I went to the hospital and got stitches. He went to the hospital, got a staple in his head. I have a bum right shoulder, now he has a bum right shoulder.

People wanted a picture of my hand with my stitches - well here it is.

Here is the staple in Snowy's head.

As the vet would describe it, "The little guy was pretty much hit with a mack truck." I thought he was in pain just now because he kept doing that dog whining thing. But I just spoke to the vet on the phone and apparently I've overdrugged him. He's just really high on morphine, and wants to voice himself.

All of this is because an Alaskan Malamute attacked Snowy in front of my house on the street. I managed to join the fray and pull that dog (who was gigantic) off of my dog. I thought my pup was going to lose his eye, perhaps have broken ribs, etc. etc. I've never heard him cry so loud in my life, and there was blood in his eye. We were saved by a lady named Beth who was driving by and witnessed the whole thing. She yelled for me to get in the car, I grabbed Snowy, crying and all, and we were off to the hospital. She told me I was crazy to jump in there, but I couldn't just stand by and watch my dog get torn apart. It would have been the equivalent of Barry Bonds jumping onto a midget, or something like that. This punk dog must've been 160 lbs. He was bigger than me. Snowy weighs 27 lbs. Luckily, I didn't get bitten, but if it was a pit bull I'd be dead. I'm pretty sure of that. Snowy seems to be okay now, other than just being really doped up because of his mom.

This has been a harrowing week (along with the past few). Thank god I get to go back to snowboarding tomorrow - where it's safe.

Just Back From The Hospital

Did not injure myself snowboarding this time, but cutting steak and managing to nearly slice my thumb off. There's blood on the cabinets in the kitchen because I flung my hand through the air in a state of shock. Yum.

I was sitting at the hospital putting pressure on my hand, when the nurse needed to take a look at it and pulled away my gauze. She fiddled around then left me, with no gauze. I didn't have anything to put pressure on the wound with, so my hand just lay there, blood forming a puddle around it on the sheet. It took me back to the time I accompanied my friend J. Evil to see a play of the "Night of the Living Dead." People wore plastic bags and the actors squirted blood into the audience throughout the play, so that by the end there were red rivers floating down the aisles. It was delightful. At the hospital just now, I literally sat there as people walked by and blood ran from my hand. It didn't hurt, so I didn't want to be a baby and ask for more gauze. Nobody ever said anything; it was a little strange, just letting it bleed. I wonder if every time I go to the hospital I'll think of that play we went to. The Living Dead folk really got the color of blood right.

These days I give thanks every Sunday for another week I stay alive. It would seem I'm trying to destroy my body one limb at a time.

Back to the mountain on Wednesday. Pray I don't open up the stitches. Must run for now, it hurts to type and it's taking forever.

A Little Bit About the Oregon Stop of the Revolution Tour

This picture is from the Oregon stop of the Revolution Tour last weekend. Much to talk about, now that my computer is up and running and I've gotten my pictures organized again. The riders below are shaving down the lip of the 2nd feature. You see, you pull out of gates, go down and up over a jump, then there was a quarterpipe, which we were supposed to clear and go over, but which really sent almost all the riders way into the back seat and flipping over the thing. This was, most definitely, the funniest boardercross course I've ever been on. They way we all rode it kept cracking me up. I was lucky not to reinjure my shoulder, which is feeling much better now. I rode conservatively, made it to finals anyway, and placed 10th out of 25. Okay for not really charging. Mostly I had fun.

I will post video through Youtube when I get a moment. Enjoy these for now.















Funny enough, the feature I was most nervous about ended up being my favorite. After the quarter pipe, a big bank turn to a road/gap drop off. The drop off was pretty fun.

How can anyone not love Boardercross?

Video to come.

Missing the Blogging

Computer blew up, on the road and back from Oregon, still no internet, trying to get better mobile service - I miss blogging everyday. I have much to say and we'll have to backtrack. Must reload picture downloading/viewing program first.

Standby.

Valentine's Day Pillow Fight

I had a joyous Valentine's Day last year. This was my experience:



San Francisco, Justin Herman Plaza, 2,500 + single people in a pillow fight. Waves of feathers floated through the air for hours afterward. Be sure to check out the guy near the end of the video wailing on people with two pillows.


I know there's nothing like that up here in Tahoe, but if you're in SF, check it:

We Need More Body Armor

This year I've suffered a few more injuries than I'm used to, but today, I realized it's okay. I also realized that last night. I have a bruised rib from a boardercross race yesterday (1st place points for USASA Nationals in Colorado in April - auh yeah), and I still have this shoulder problem. My coach cracked two ribs at the Jeep King of the Mountain, and Rob, my teammate, hurt his ribecage as well. Let's all take a moment to breathe now.

Brady, another kid on the team, broke his arm in boardercross yesterday after being run over by another guy on his snowboard in the course. Lauren, an old teammate, separated her shoulder at the Jeep King of the Mountain final kicker. We're riddled with injuries, but to me, it only means I'm getting my feet back under me, and charging hard again. Last night at the River Ranch, Seth the bartender asked me what was wrong, since I was walking around holding my rib cage. Hurt again, I told him. Three people looked at me as I passed and one girl said, "Now, is it all worth it?"

Without hesitation I answered stoutly and with a smile, "Absolutely." I love this stuff. A few people nodded in agreement. I mean, this is Tahoe. We ride and fall, and some people never get to ride at all. Injury forces you to do better, if you can come back stronger.

Jeep King of the Mountain . . .

. . . is making me climb up the walls. I hate missing events. Man I wish I could race in this one. The course looks absolutely too fun and I'm getting my boards dialed in. Next year, next year, next year. I want me some Jeep.

I'm trying my best to take it easy and heal this shoulder, but it's hard - taking it easy I mean.

The view from the Siberia Chair. Looks like Pick-Up-Sticks, the game of physical and mental skill in which sticks have to be removed from a pile without disturbing the remaining ones. I failed at this because I'm on the one-arm-program with my bad shoulder and hold it close to my body; I walked through this a few moments later, and nearly tripped over three boards. Graceful.

Darn, I need this shoulder back for balance.

Dashing in a picture of Shawn Palmer, because . . . um, well, he exists. Standing next to him makes me feel fast, and young.

Mountain Folk for Pheasadent

Snow banks are high, this one about 12 ft. maybe, in Truckee.

What would be great is if some guy peed Hilary's name right next to this. Or Barack's.

I'd supply the beer, because we'll need a lot of fuel.

- Back to the mountain.

The Clam Bank Turn

SBX NorAM, Colorado. On this most recent and tricky little course, one feature schnagled our whole team. It was about 1/3 of the way down the course, a "Clam Bank Turn", as Rob liked to call it, because it resembled a clam shell. Two rollers on top of a bank turn, then a small curb/drop-off to flat, and a kicker/roller all smashed into about 15 curved yards. The problem was, if you lost any control, were just a hair slow, or your timing was off, you ended up bouncing off the rollers/clam grooves, or didn't clear the jump and knuckled. I knuckled, as did most of the girls, 2nd run, 1st day. Something is wrong with my rotator cuff on my right shoulder now, but I'm not worried. I didn't have enough speed when I thought I did, bounced right off the knuckle before the transition, and landed on my right shoulder. Two days later Lauren would fracture/bruise her hip on the same spot. Rob fell on it too, and the Yac Yam http://onemountain.blogspot.com/2008/02/patricia-sacrificial-lamb.html lost a first place spot in a fumble there.

We ended up calling it the Claim Bank Turn, because it claimed our team.

It's hard to find anyone to photograph or film me racing because everyone is in the process of preparing their boards or in line to race too. The above is me just before the race, relaxed and bundled in a lot of body armour gear.

PS:
This is funny, if you're looking for something more to watch. I didn't know Sarah Silverman dated Jimmy Kimmel. If anyone wants to continue telling me I am similar to her, that's fine for now because this is a good one.



I'd f*%% Matt Damon and date Jimmy Kimmel. That'd be entertaining.

Patricia, The Sacrificial Lamb

First off, I want to thank Evil from Potreto Hill for this: http://www.brackmedia.com/screenclean/ Please go there. It's nice.

Just back from Copper Mountain, Colorado. It was there we picked up P. Holland, brother of Nate Holland, who just won X Games Gold in Boardercross for the 3rd time. Okay, great, cool. P. Holland was in X Boardercross too, but he fell in the quarterfinals, or semis, and ended up taking out another guy in the same race his brother was in. The announcer jovially called him the "Sacrificial Lamb." During this trip we took to the title given him. Every time P. left the room, was at the back of the van, on the race course, we'd say things like, "Where's the Sacrificial Lamb?" "Is the Sacrificial Lamb done tying down the snowboards?" "How did the Sacrificial Lamb do in time trials?"

Bless that EXPN announcer. Sacrificial Lamb. That just kills me.

By Thursday night, Little Lauren doped up on vicotin for her bruised/fractured hip, and me enjoying beer and loopy exhaustion, started mixing P's for R's and starting words with Y's - so he became "Ratricia, The Yacrificial Yam."

We hacked in and changed a few things on the Yac Yam's myspace site as well. Yeah, P. Holland commands a lot of respect and adoration in our crew.

This kind of stuff is fun for me now.

Back to Colorado?

It's the 4th week in January and the 3rd place I'm heading this month. Yipee for February. SBX NorAm race Wednesday AND Thursday, so this should be good. It will also be good to get home and dig my dog out from under the pile of clothes in my room.

Forgot my handy cord so I can't put any new pictures up. Look, I'm busy, I can't even find my binding straps, all I do is pack and unpack my car, so I forgot. Sheesh. Sorry. New and exciting blogs will be coming this way as yes people, we will be getting internet at my house next week on the West Shore. Thank God. 2008 is it?

So the update for now is there's lots of snow. All I've been doing is leaning on my back leg and surfing the stuff.

Big thanks this week to Sean for hooking up Plumpjacks so we could walk right onto the hill. Big sissy - didn't want to get up early. And Solomon, for another two pairs of goggles. Adidas rock, especially when they're free. Now I can see, if only I can get up the nerve to wear those damn contacts, I might just win one of these days.